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Flirting Tips

Many men ask what is the best way to get the girl they want interested in them. I've decided to back up and start from the very beginning with a flirting primer.

With these tips, and one of our potent pheromone concentrates, you're sure to have them begging for more!

You will never be a great flirt if you only try out your skills when you're already head-over-heels, in fact, you won't even be a good one. Why? Because flirting is a light hearted and fun way to let a member of the opposite sex know that you've noticed them and appreciate what you've seen - it's not a way to fling your desperate longing at them, hoping they'll catch it and make everything better by accepting you into their lives with open arms. Flirting is sexy, desperation isn't. We all know this. Most of us have seen exactly how showing both longing and loneliness have made people we know very unattractive and unappealing, and yet, when it comes to our own selves we forget this lesson the moment a pretty face turns our head and our hearts we want to rush right over to them and shout out our feelings. Stop! Take ten deep breathes, chill and what ever you do don't spill.

There's a time and place to let a significant other know how much you care - but it's not at the very beginning of the mating dance when you have absolutely no rapport established with this person except for a few shy "hellos" in the hallway or at the coffee shop. Allowing Feelings (That Dreaded Word) I know what I'm about to say is going to sound like a contradiction but it isn't. Just bare with me a few moments and I'll explain. I want you to allow your crush and infatuation feelings. Yes, I still want you to stop, chill and don't spill and then I want you to do something else - I want you to allow the feelings that come up about this infatuation of yours, and I want you to be curious about it. Pushing down feelings only means they subvert themselves and come out in other ways we don't want (and which can become very embarrassing) and wreck havoc on our lives. We've grown up now so it's time to stop insulting or hitting girls to tell them we like them, and we're learning that it's no better rushing up to them and spilling our guts either, right?

By taking the time to feel what we need to feel, and be curious about it, we can regain our equilibrium and move forward with our lives. Infatuations and crushes can be very disruptive and disconcerting. By sitting down and being curious about them we not only find out what exactly is going on, we learn to enjoy the energy of the infatuation rather than be made miserable by it. Just why do you like this woman? What is it about her appearance and self that intrigues you so? Can you identify things about her that you've liked in other women in the past, or is this a brand new experience? Notice there's a big difference between being curious about your infatuation in private and reveling in it with friends to the point they want to throw up they're so bored with your one track mine. No one is going to be as nearly as interested in a certain woman as you are - unless they have a crush on her themselves.

Broadening Your Target I don't care how much you think the one you're infatuated with right now is "your one and only" you need to learn to be a good flirt (if only to keep her happy and interested in you in the years to come) and this isn't going to happen if you focus on one woman. The more you practice your flirting the better you'll be, and as I've said before, every single day of your life gives you ample opportunity - if you've got the guts to take it. Take the beginner's challenge. For every woman you have a crush on challenge yourself to smile and say "hello" to five strange women for each time you greet the object of your infatuation. Think of it as your civic duty to brighten the days of strange women. Casanova would be proud. Give Compliments Away A compliment isn't truly a compliment unless it's given away with no strings attached.

You should never give a compliment unless you can do so without believing you need to receive anything in return. In fact, you should give compliments with the idea that you "just thought she ought to know that.she has a great smile, wrote a great report, and was wearing a color that made her eye color stand out". This should be done whether you're talking to a strange woman on a subway or the woman whose appearance sets your heart racing. Keep the Tone Light Just as compliments should be given away the tone of a compliment, especially in the early days of knowing someone (and especially a stranger), should be light. Flirting should be a fun game, not a solemn duty. The tone of your compliment should be that you're enjoying telling the woman, not that you've been carrying around a heavy load you need to unburden on her.

Remember, you want to spark her interest in you.not frighten her away with the idea that knowing you is going to be a tiresome chore. In Closing Next week we'll be moving on to the finer points about flirting, however, you need to understand and be able to use the above tools well before the finer points will work for you. Never underestimate how powerful learning to sit and chill with emotions and being curious about them can be (whether you're dealing with infatuation or anger). Remember that people being people, are infinitely more curious about people we aren't quite sure of rather than those we know we have eating out of the palm of our hands.

The Fine Art of Observation To be a great flirt you must be on the planet, right here and now, and notice just what's going on with the women you're so attracted to. You need to go beyond the obviousness of the thrill of her smile, breasts, and ass and pay attention to her world. Yes guys, it's time for you to be a "spy in the house of love" and see how much you can learn about these women without them becoming wise to you. What's so special about this or that particular woman?

What really caught your attention? Yes, of course there's a physical attraction - we're not dead - but what is it exactly about her appearance that caught your eye? Take mental notes, dig deep, and look for something she's proud of herself for but bummed others rarely notice. What exactly is it about her personality, her style, and her tastes? For each person we're attracted to there's a myriad of particular reasons, be clever and get specific. Spend too much time hanging out in the buzz of your adoration and some other wise guy is going to come up and snatch her right out from under you while you're day dreaming. It's time to look sharp and zing in an original and thoughtful compliment before you lose your chance. Remember, you're not to claim undying love! No, no, no!

This is only the beginning! Now is the time to let her know you've taken the time to really notice her without becoming heavy handed about it. Pay her a small but personal compliment with your own unique spin on it.do it now. Flirting Should Be Fun & Have Your Own Personal Spin Flirting isn't a job - it's a game. Flirting should be fun. It should be something you look forward to instead of dreading. Flirting is also unique to each person. When starting out in the flirting game it's tempting to use the same exact tactics you've noticed friends or even movie idols use - but dare yourself to be original. Use flirting to show off the best of your very own personality, not someone else's. Know that your flirting technique is a work in progress - each day you're going to learn new tools and tricks to incorporate into your game.

Moving Beyond Compliments While a small unique compliment is one of the best ways to start off a flirtation, compliments certainly aren't the only way to flirt. What's important is that you impart the information to the other person that you're intrigued by them - but not that you're ready to throw yourself at their feet. It's important to infer attraction without it seeming that it's the only thing you're really thinking about - even if that's really the case. Sometimes a small put down said in jest can be one of the best ways to let someone know you've had your eye on them - without coming across as if you're lovesick. Please note, I said a small put down, not a nasty insult, and make sure the other person knows your comment is very "tongue in cheek". The goal is to tease the girl and capture her imagination - not truly anger her. Yes, there are people who get excited and turned on by slinging mutual insults, but when attraction is behind it, you can often get yourself painted into a corner and not know when enough is enough. Since each person has his or her own idea of what the line of "going too far" is - why risk it?

Bringing Things To a Boil Slowly Hitting a woman too hard and too fast with your flirting runs the risk of overwhelming her and turning her off. Give yourself the best chance by turning up the heat in your flirting slowly. This gives her time to get use to the idea of you in a romantic way but keeps you out of the "friend" category (unless you mess this up by then becoming her door mat best buddy). Each of us holds cards of power in a relationship, but most of us give away this power by showing the extent of our attraction and interest far too quickly. You don't need to flirt with a woman every time you see her, especially if it's a daily or hourly thing - in fact it's best to keep her guessing a bit and not flirt all the time. This way she also has the opportunity to pick up the flirting ball and run with it - which is a pretty clear signal that she's interested as well.

Please note, however, that women are often more socialized than men and can take what a man thinks is serious flirting as only friendly banter. To keep yourself from falling in this trap you shouldn't consider any of your flirting very serious until you've successfully given it sexual undertones, letting her know of your physical interest in her, and she's still volleying back and forth with you happily. Once this is happening don't wait too long to make your move or she'll think you're just toying with her.

Once she's tilting her head to the side when she's speaking with you, and putting a hand on your arm or shoulder when she makes a point - it's time to ask her out. It's time to ad dating to the flirting, but yes, if you want things to be hot between the two of you, you'll keep your flirting tools sharp and ready.

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